You know, I had a diary here before, and I was reading the entries, and I'm so embarassing
So I'm going to try again
I want to work on refining my writing a bit
Friday, 11/15/24, 5:40 pm, 49 & party cloudy
I got into the woodworking class! I'm amazed at how fast the college processed my application and how fast I was able to register for the class. Must have low enrollment. I snagged the second to last spot available in the class. I hope I make a friend. Or there's a cutie. I can't wait for it to start. I've really been missing school and I think it will be good for me to have a structured activity once a week. It'll also give me a good excuse to get a gym membership. The only affordable gym is kind of far from my house, and there's not really a good reason for me to drive all the way over there, but the school is close to it so I'll be making Fridays my gym and school day.
The sashiko workshop was a bit of a bust but it was still fun. I went with three of my friends and we had a good time, even if we didn't really learn how to do the techniques. I'm planning on mending a pair of Carhartt's I got from my roommate. The whole butt is about to rip open.
On Sunday my friend invited me to go on a little trip to Oregon for the day to go hiking in the rain and to go thrifting, so that will be fun! I'm excited. I just hope it's not too cold.
Thursday, 11/14/24, 8:34 am, 49 & lightly raining
I decided very last minute to try to take a class at the local community college in the Spring. It would be very beneficial for me, I realized, to have a basic understanding of woodworking for my upcoming camper build. Hopefully my application is processed in time to sign up for the course!
Later today I'm attending a free sashiko workshop that I'm excited about. I've attempted sashiko before with relative success but it will be nice to see the proper technique.
I had been on the hunt for some long sleeve cotton button up pajamas and I got some yesterday from my second job (I work at a consignment shop once a week). They're white with blue and red pinstripes. I'm obsessed. I'm tired of wearing ratty old sweatpants and stained t-shirts to bed and I wanted something more intentional. I swear I slept better. Now I just need a nicer robe. I've been considering this one from LA apparel. Oh look, and it's on sale....I need some new socks too....hm
Monday, 11/11/24, 9:41 am, 56 & cloudy
Today is my wedding anniversary. I miss him so much. Grief is such a consuming and omnipresent thing...
Big things coming soon, and I mean it this time. I've come into a bit of cash courtesy of my late great grandparents, a big suprise I wasn't expecting. I'm planning on staying with my dad for the summer and building out a truck camper with him. This is something I've always wanted to do but have never had the funds for. It might not be the most responsible thing to do with this money, but I know I won't regret it. I have dreamt of doing this for a decade. I've always wanted to do some solo traveling. I can't believe I'm actually going to be able to do it. For the truck, I want to find a late nineties/early 2000's Toyota or Nissan 4x4. The camper will be built up over the cab and be tall enough for me to stand in the bottom portion. My dad built the house I grew up in and has built a truck from scratch, and he sounds very excited to help me with this project. I've never even nailed two pieces of wood together, so I'm very excited to learn from the best. I'm going to start doing research on how I want to build the camper. I feel very blessed to be able to do this. I'm looking forward to spending the summer with my dad, too. He's getting older and I feel guilty for being so far away. We are planning some backpacking trips for the summer as well. And I'm going to see if my old job is looking for any summer help, which I'm hopeful they are. It would be fun to cosplay as a baker again for a little while.
Sunday, 11/3/24, 3:26 pm, 56 & sunny
Working too much has taken it's toll, I'm hella sick. Been in bed for four days. Too much time to think. Watched too many sad movies and I started reading A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara because I guess I like to torture myself. Don't feel well in my brain. I really wish I lived by myself. Little things my roommates are doing are staring to get to me. I've only been here four and a half months. Need to get back to work so I can save a bajillion dollars so I can run away somewhere were no one knows my name.
Sunday, 10/20/24, 9:32 am, 52 & foggy
Oop, already slacking on diary entries....
All I've been doing is working. Working working working every day, every night, pulling doubles, etc etc. I'm cranky and tired. I'm trying to pay off my stupid fucking credit card debt and save money. It's working, but at what cost? I'm so grouchy and I have like no time to get anything done. I've had two days off this whole month and I don't want to spend them running errands? I fucking hate grocery shopping and cooking I don't want to do that in the small amount of time I have for myself. At least I'm liking my new second job. My other one is pissing me off, though. I'm considering asking for more hours on the next schedule at my newer job and only asking for two days a week at my old one. get paid a lot more at my old one, though. AHHHHHHH
Sunday, 10/6/24, 8:56 am, 52 & sunny
I can't believe it's been so sunny and nice here. It's usually dumping rain by now. I'm grateful.
I am on day 5 of working 18 days in a row. So far it's going ok. I know by the end of it I'm going to be mentally and physically drained. I wish we lived in a world where this wasn't necessary in order to survive. I literally have three jobs and still struggle to pay my bills some months. I've been challenging myself to work as much as possible and save as much as possible by the end of the year in preparation for moving in the future. I have no timeline and no concrete plan, but I think I don't want to live where I do much longer. In August I set a challenge for myself to put fifty dollars from each paycheck into my savings (I get paid weekly) in order to save $1,000 by the end of the year. I'm proud of myself because I've been able to already save $1,000, but only because I got that third job and have been working like non-stop the past two months. It feels good to know I'm capable of it. But I am very tired.
I'm not sure where I would move. It's so expensive to move. I don't like the idea that all this money I'm saving is just going to be blown on a u-haul. But I guess there's not really many options. My car barely holds anything and I'm too sentimental about my furniture to get rid of it.
I've slowly began the decluttering process. Getting rid of things here and there. In reality I don't have that much stuff but it's enough that moving is always a pain in the ass. I wish I was more of a minimalist but I'm just not. I like my stuff and I like collecting.
I wish I knew where I wanted to go. The idea of moving somewhere where I know no-one simultaneously terrifies and excites me. I don't think I will do that, but still. LA was on the table for a bit, but I'm unsure, that feels like a mistake. I don't think a city will serve me well at this stage. But maybe temporarily it would be fun.....
Tuesday, 10/1/24, 5:10 pm, 60 & sunny
Happy first day of October! I got back from my trip yesterday. I'm really tired and not feeling great. I have a toothache and my sinuses hurt from the dry air back home. And I'm not very excited to be back in my current home. I went grocery shopping today. I'm going to make beef stroganoff for dinner. I want to find a new show to watch and I was thinking about starting an anime. I used to watch anime a lot but I haven't in a very long time. But I think a cozy slice of life would be nice for fall.
I got to see Built to Spill's 30th anniversary tour for There's Nothing Wrong with Love and it was such an amazing show. They played with Quasi, which I had somehow never heard of, but they were really great too. The drummer is incredible. I had a good time.
I also had lunch with a dear old friend and met his girlfriend. It was so nice to see him, it's been like six years. We're trying to plan another trip were I will be able to visit longer. Duster is playing at the same venue in November and I would love to be able to go to that show.
Thursday, 9/26/24, 9:09 am, 71 & sunny
Yesterday I spent the day with my mom. We went thrifting. I got another black t-shirt that I don't need, but I'm going to replace a different one I have at home that has an unraveling hem. I also got a black cotton knee length skirt that I really like. I'm wearing it today even though I didn't wash it. Honestly I don't usually wash my thrifted clothes before I wear them unless they stink or feel grimy. I also got a black knit zip up hoodie that's excactly what I've been looking for. It's ever so slightly too small in the arms but I think I can stretch it out since it's knit.
I'm waiting for my dentist appointment that I booked in the beginning of the year. It's nearly impossible to get in with a dentist where I currently live, let alone one who takes insurance, so I've resorted to seeing one where my parents live. It's eight hours away, but I figured I visit them roughly twice a year so I can just get my cleanings in when I visit.
I always forget how much people stare when I come home. I'm heavily tattooed and have a relatively big septum piercing. It always catches me off gaurd because it doesn't happen where I live. What also catches me off gaurd is how fast everyone drives here. Slow the heck down!!! Ur scaring me!
Tuesday, 9/24/24, 8:34 pm, 70 & clear
I drove 8 hours today to visit my mom and dad. I had to stop to shit like 6 times. Nightmare!!!
This weird town never changes and I don't know why my mom still lives here. I'm going to try to convince her to pay for a manicure and pedicure for me tomorrow. I'm excited to visit my dad in a few days. I'm going to try to convince him to take me camping.
On my way here I stopped at this thrift store I always pass by and have always wanted to stop at. It wasn't very good, but I did get a cute shirt and a pair of socks.
Sunday, 9/22/24, 9:30 am, 52 & sunny
I had two seperate dreams about bathrooms last night. I wonder what that means.
I woke up to a text from someone I don't particularly want to talk to anymore. But I think he wants to apologize so I might let him. I'm not sure if that's a bad idea or not.
I've decided I don't want to name people anymore in my entries. I'm not sure if that will be a detriment to me later. I'm a very forgetful person. But I guess if I can't remember who I've written about when I go back and read old entries then they weren't that important.
Thursday, 9/19/24, 8:19 am, 54 & foggy
Found a recipie for rosemary roasted garlic white bean soup. Waking up all my roommates roasting garlic before nine a.m.